SJSU world-renown for terrible writing
- Forgive me for being the imbecile who posts a non-sequitur amongst calls for cat justice and whatnot, but it behooves me to bring you news of love waxed so poetic it deserves its own reward.
For this, the winner of the annual celebration of all things literary rotten, The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for awful, awful writing, deserves a hat-tip, or perhaps a modest curtsey, one not too low to offend the visiting monarch should she be offended by such gestures and should the visiting monarch be a she.
The contest, sponsored by none other than our very own San Jose State University, was won by Garrison Spik, some guy who apparently likes manholes:
Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped ‘Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.’
In this 2002 interview with contest organizer Professor Scott Rice, he says:
“I like to think that the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest contributes to the universal improvement of mankind and that the University should respond by giving me large annual merit pay increases. I also think that my wife should always do what I tell her and that my cat should stop shedding on my clothes. I expect all three to happen about the same time.”
